Home > An Interview with actor Peter Story, "Men Are From Mars, ..Live"
An Interview with actor Peter Story, "Men Are From Mars, ..Live"

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“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Live” - review

Colonial Theatre

Berkshire Theatre Group

South St, Pittsfield

An Interview With Actor Peter Story

 

“They just came out with a new study,” I recall Jay Leno saying during his monologue. “Only 30% of men kiss their wives goodbye in the morning when leaving their house. BUT—98% of men kiss their house goodbye when leaving their wives.”

 

My significant other and I roared. Yes, that was funny, even funnier than the bumper sticker that reads “Marriage is Grand. Divorce is a Hundred Grand.”

 

The book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray sold over 30 million copies and brought a lot of the differences between the sexes to light. Now, those differences have been turned into a comedy play coming to the Colonial Theatre in Pittsfield October 30th (http://www.berkshiretheatregroup.org/). We have even included a special promotion code at the end of this interiview to get a fifty percent discount on the cost of a ticket. This show promises to be a guaranteed laugh and help us in that unending mystery of helping us understand each other.

 

 

This comedy is Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Live—'Live', that is, as in a play. Yes, they made a comedy performance out of the book, as told by actor Peter Story. It promises to be a hilarious, we-all-laugh-together 2 hour (with intermission) performance. This is a theatrical experience not to be missed, with story telling in a Bill Cosby type of approach, one that will have couples sitting there laughing saying “That's you”, “No, that's you.” Yes, it fixes marriages, mends defeat, and even helps couples who are dating know what they are in for. Alas, the dust of secrecy is blown off in a comical fashion so we can begin to really understand our partner. And some couples are so enthralled with what they learned, the kissing and hand holding are usually in full bloom on the way home. It smacks of first date all over again, as the light of understanding goes on.

 

Always remember, second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages.

 

Story says, “We just remember: Martians fix problems. But women from Venus explore problems.

 

My wife and I are together 32 years, married for 25, and we would think we know all there is to know about each other. She is the mother of my child, my soul mate, my deepest confidant, my life raft in the white waters we call life, but still there is this nagging feeling: We don't see eye-to-eye on the basics. We look at life through a different set of glasses. What seems important to her is barely a shrug of my shoulders, and boy do I catch hell for that—a female hell. The kind that burns and makes us buy flowers. The kind that, when pushed far enough, resonates with the worst punishment for all mankind: deprivation. “He just doesn't listen to me,” she says.

 

But I do listen—perhaps in a Martian kind of way, but I do, in fact, listen.

 

The play originally started in France, moved to Holland, and is now taking off like a wild fire in the United States. With over 100 performances in over 40 cities so far, it sheds light on the mysteries between us, that schism we never seem to get through ourselves, and one which causes all of us endless anguish.

 

Didyouweekend caught up with the star of the show, Peter Story, to gives us a sneak peak of what's to come. An inside hint: Dopamine. Since biology class was decades away, we needed to refresh our memories a bit, and of course a simple google search lead us to Psychology Today: http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/dopamine. Go figure!

 

Q. What is the biggest difference between men and women. Why on earth are we simply unable to see eye to eye so often.

 

A. We have to understand. As men, we love the women in our lives. We have lived through the fight for equality, equal rights and every thing else, but in the fight to acknowledge each other as equals, we have forgotten one primary understanding: Biologically, we are still fundamentally different. We simply lack the ability to walk in each others' shoes, because we can't. We can't because of our biological differences which go way beyond the obvious. These differences cannot be ignored.

 

Q. What kind of differences?

 

A. Let's take stress as an example. And by the way, the performance comes with a series of videos and graphics. Some by John Gray, which illustrate these points. When a woman is under stress—however that is defined--blood flows to her brain at a rate 8 times more than blood flows to a males brain under the same stress. The result: A woman's dopamine levels sky rocket.

 

The result is women feel overwhelmed. Simply because of a biological difference, their hormones go wild and they are going to feel like going bananas until the Dopamine levels go back down.

 

Q. I can hear it now....the sock doesn't belong there. You need to close the pool. But the pool is just sitting there, it's not the end of the world.

 

A. That's another difference—men are more logical. So while a woman's brain is flooded with blood and Dopamine, the man sits there, logics it out, and can't understand why he is under attack. The attack is going to continue until the Dopamine levels level off back to normal.

 

Women want compassion. They want to be listened to. That is the first rule: They want you to listen.

 

Q. One factor I know that is a game changer are kids. Every couple I see splitting up, seemed fine, and then the baby is born, and a few years later—bam!--splitsville. Why is that?

 

A. When a baby is born, all parents say the baby comes first. And that's right. But in this process, they forget how to connect with each other. There's no time to connect with each other. So the baby doesn't replace you two—the baby is in addition to you two. As the family grows, the additions keep coming. But that's where couples make a mistake. They need to stay as a unit, the unit they were, and the newcomers are in addition to.

 

Women need to know they are first. And we as men need to prove that by going to them first.

 

Q. I come home. The dogs are licking me and wagging their tails at the door, so they get their pats on the head. My son is on the couch, and next I walk over to him and kiss him on the head. My wife is upstairs and me, thinking I am saving the best for last, walk up the stairs and give her a hug. What am I doing wrong?

 

A. She doesn't see it as “saving the best for last.” She sees it as “I am last.” Remember: The children, the dogs—they are all fine, but they are “in addition to”, and not “instead of”.

 

Q. Ouch.

 

A. True. You need to walk by everyone and all the four-legged creatures and give her the hug first. Women need to be number 1, they want to be listened to, and they need to feel appreciated. By petting the dogs first, even if the dogs are right at the door first, the message the woman is getting is “I am no longer number 1.”

 

Q. We have been married 25 years. We never have had a single argument—yes, kidding. We survived the statistics. In fact, we grew up with two other couples, all best friends forever, and out of the six of us, my wife and I are the only two still together. I think we're the only two who even still talk to each other! Is this show for us? For newly weds? People on a date for the first time? Who benefits from seeing this show.

 

A. The show is for everyone, and here's why: This show has helped people on all levels. It has even helped people in the throes of divorce, because it teaches them how to see each other differently, how to better know where the other person is coming from. We have distinct biological difference that make us act and respond to each other differently, and as a result, we run, we take the other person's comments personally. We should not do that. This is communication. The other person is communicating to us in the only way they know how. They are unable to process how we respond to it, because they are biologically different.

 

Once we get through this deeper understanding, we can build our relationship. In short, don't take the hurt personally.

 

The show also applies to people just dating. They need to understand each other, they need to learn the biological differences, the affect of Dopamine, and how we each relate to logic and stress.

 

This show is all about laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. But it is also about dusting off the mystery of our relationships, and helps you reignite the fire by understanding your spouse better, and living a more fulfilling relationship. It puts the spark back in the game.

 

And with that, I am picking up my socks and closing the pool.

 

When October 30th, 2014

 

Tickets: http://www.berkshiretheatregroup.org/on-our-stages/comedy/441-men-are-from-mars-woman-are-from-venus-live

 

(Use Promo Code “Mars” for 50% off )

 

Contact Information

Address: 111 South Street Pittsfield, MA 01201

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